[11:22:48 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Hi Alynna Trypnotk, I'd like to add you as a contact. Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi [11:23:17 AM] *** Alynna Trypnotk has shared contact details with Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi. *** [11:23:36 AM] *** Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi sent psycho wafare and what i learn.txt *** [11:23:58 AM] *** Alynna Trypnotk has shared contact details with Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi. *** [11:25:32 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: the contact info you want is prismleafwind on Skype. You do remember that sphere. I spent 8 months in that damn thing learning all about it and doing other things. The one you said i was lucky to survive the first time. didn't encounter anyone on the back paths. but suffice to say regardless either way prism considers me an enemy to the death [11:26:43 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: and the feeling became mutual. so tell me what you learned and all that when you get back i'm curious. and nothing wrong with kitsune/tanuki, or anything and anything [11:28:11 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i learned how to restore those severed from reality en masse of course. among a lot of other things. still hurts me like hell to do it, but i'm getting good enough that my down time isn't a month it's a day and rather than 1 i can do dozens in a row or at once. [11:35:44 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: oh and btw any illusion made would cease to be anyone who has an independent existence would endure with what i'm trying. I go in there to track down everyone that had been removed from existence or consumed by what you called the vor'jen, learned how to keep the effects from getting to me. not to say i can handle being in there alone at all [11:38:32 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi pulls up yesterday when a giant sphere appeared and started tossing out what i call shadows, and me simply fragmenting my own essence/name/spark whatever you want to call it and threatening all of them with being forceibly restored with reality and severed from it again if they truly meant harm and if they didn't go back. and a couple staying and letting themselves be restored [11:39:18 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi while someone else shrank the sphere and i simply pick it up and kick punt it back into the main sphere that has been consuming this universe [11:39:52 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: it's not so much power, but strength of will and knowledge to do those things [11:40:06 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: though anyone trying it does need a minimal level of power [11:41:52 AM] Alynna Trypnotk: i'm gonna have to read this whole log [11:41:57 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: *nods* [11:42:12 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: yes i went for revenge but it ceased to be that when she leveled her threats:/ [11:42:34 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: and she doesn't have the power to create trillions of my little pony universes >.< [11:43:50 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi points at the giant sphere you said i was so lucky to survive last year. "I spent 8 months straight in there, learned how to keep myself shielded, well i had a thing that shielded me. but i learned to copy that on my own when i'm outside of that sphere. not to mention how much it sucks branching over and over, dieing a hundred thousand times and another hundred thousand making it to the end and acquiring the knowledge of the hundred thousand that did make it when i was forced to come back out for a while. [11:44:58 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: only learned a little bit since most of the knowledge is horrifcally useless. but i still need to finish tracking down everyone that has been destroyed in such manners [11:45:09 AM] Alynna Trypnotk: I need to go now, but I will try to get back in contact when i'm done with these errands [11:45:13 AM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: k [2:18:10 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: i'm home again finally [2:21:21 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: now I am rewinding and reading all this stuff you've sent me [2:37:10 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: tell me about the ponies. [2:42:41 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ah, k [2:43:09 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: well prism like my little pony friendship is magic. So feels they have created countless worlds filled withthem [2:44:19 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: interesting. What is your relationship to the pony? [2:44:31 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i like the show. why? [2:44:44 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm still very much a kitsune [2:45:18 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Alright, just curious. [2:45:30 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: So has Prism stopped being a kitsune? [2:45:33 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: yes [2:45:41 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Interesting there too. [2:46:51 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: this situation must be assessed [2:47:11 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: oh? i'm still very much a kitsune, any reason you asked? [2:48:50 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: just checking for reality bubbles [2:48:57 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: hmmm, what do you mean by that [2:49:18 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: you know how fox thinks hes a god? [2:49:38 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: yes [2:50:22 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: reality bubble. Doesn't affect anything outside it. People who willingfully enter it experience his reality. I was trapped in it for a while. Got out. [2:50:45 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: hmmmm, ever seen unreality [2:50:55 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I saw it when I was 7. [2:52:50 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Fox may be my brother but he is no god. He's god of his own bubble. He's a fox trapped in his own illusion. And he likes it so nothing I say will ever get him out. The Courts aren't stopping him because he's safe there and his reality isn't affecting anyone who doesn't want to be affected. [2:54:13 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: what i figure about vast powerful beings in reality is that their power isn't derived solely from themselves nor are they the source of the existence of others. they are loaned and borrow the power of everyone in a very different way than normal kitsune feeding [2:55:08 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: to assign people like Fox a title like 'vast powerful being' is to be inside his bubble. Outside that bubble We look down and see a trapped fox. [2:55:16 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [2:55:36 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: He's not in the same reality as the rest of the waking, sane world. [2:55:39 PM | Edited 2:55:57 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but thats not what i mean, it's not a title, they aren't powerful on their own, the beings with a lot of power are given it to them by others [2:55:44 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: in normal reality [2:57:02 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: The beings with all the power don't have to crow about it to the world, and will generally not walk around displaying it. If I were a nine tail, I wouldn't walk around displaying all nine tails, I'd instead select something less conspicuous, like 5 or 6. [2:57:50 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi smiles and nods. "Well it makes a person stand out, only reason to do so is to force yourself as a decoy" [2:58:11 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: come on, i want to see what you think of that sphere now. *offers you my hand* [2:58:36 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I'm not into worldwalking at the moment. [2:58:52 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ah, [2:59:00 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I actually do not want to jump into yet another reality bubble. [2:59:12 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: hmmm, i was talking about taking you into things at large. [2:59:19 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: so you have your own astral realm? [3:00:03 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I have learned that the mysteries must remain the mysteries. [3:00:08 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: oh? [3:00:59 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: These days, I am a practicing witch, and a priestess in training. [3:01:04 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ah [3:01:29 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i follow truth, attempt to learn everything. never let myself get stuck down. try to find the underlying true reality [3:01:57 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I am of course, still a fox. [3:02:31 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: the story of Fox is a cautionary tail you should learn well. [3:02:33 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i maintain my own astral realm and have it hardened against unreality. wound up letting a bunch of people in so there are a lot of what you call reality sphere's in it. don't really like that all that much but *shrugs* i'm aware their there and refuse to step in too fully. [3:02:55 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Be careful that you do not make your own illusion and call it reality. [3:03:22 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: blek, i get too close to unreality if i ever did that i'd be consumed [3:04:11 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Fox will be lost until he figure out how unreal his world is. Then hopefully he will decide to come out of it and decide to ask forgiveness of us in the actual Courts.. [3:04:18 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: illusions are the most dangerous things imaginable around unreality. :/ [3:04:51 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: theres no need for forgiveness, the courts change. i never followed them. i've always been independent at least i was till that stupid nightfox incident. [3:05:01 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm still mostly independent though [3:05:48 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for the person giving it. fox will need to forgive himself far more than he needs it from the courts. [3:05:51 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: My position in the Courts is, roughly, "ambassador to the West" [3:07:10 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: though it is comparable to being an independant contractor. I was born to both the faerie and celestial court, to be the bridge between them when the world got small enough. [3:07:16 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i've spent my entire existence in general trying to catch those that the courts can't handle due to political reasons. [3:08:27 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: get them safe, handle whatever problem, fight whatever, guide a person to an afterlife they can live in. whatever. because at times politics means that neither side can help a person [3:09:16 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: The only time the Courts disapproved of my actions was when I got stuck in Fox's bubble under the illusion I ever had to prove myself to him [3:09:34 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: heh, i fought him constantly because i hated his reality and accepted it [3:10:46 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: that was probably a waste of a year or so of my life, and almost cost me a tail, energywise [3:10:52 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [3:11:01 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: just what I invested into him and his bubble [3:11:25 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: all because I wanted a family [3:11:29 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i've been loaned tremendous power on occasion. because i need it at the time, but the power wasn't mine, it was loaned to me for a reason [3:11:33 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi hugs [3:11:50 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: were still family. i look forward to the live we can spend time together [3:12:38 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: i'm not sure I can accept that. [3:12:42 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: why? [3:12:54 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: you still stole my cubs from me. [3:13:11 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi sighs, [3:13:23 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: we were both trapped in foxes bubble at the time you know [3:13:48 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: it doesn't change the fact that you did it to hurt me [3:13:54 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i really never took them. [3:14:01 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: you said you did. [3:14:32 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: erm, i took care of them afterwords, thats what take meant. not steal as in when they disappeared initially [3:14:40 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i was really pissed about that too personally [3:15:57 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: it probably was a concerned family member who didn't want their first few months to be in fox's bubble. on either side [3:16:32 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: there is so much twisting of reality here that I am not sure I can trust what anyone says about it. They are our cubs, and technically you have as much right to see them as I. There's no way to split them, so I don't know what to do. [3:16:54 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i want them to see you. i've never badmouthed you to them [3:17:10 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: their free to sped time at any time. and your free to visit without fear [3:18:22 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I need them to visit here. I sometimes see them but, to be honest, I am afraid you are in your own bubble as well, and I have no time for peoples bubbles anymore. I am learning magic for the *real* world. [3:18:33 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ah [3:18:47 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: hmmm, [3:19:18 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but i've never seen magic work all out. I work on the subconscious aware i can unleash the complete power of my body if i ever manage to move it into conscious control [3:20:45 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: that is not to mean any offense or anything, but that is what you have essentially said you are doing, with the constructions of your own planes and dimensions. Real or not, it is still a bubble, with your rules, and I can't really blame anyone for making them, this world sucks, but its this world that needs to be fixed. [3:20:57 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: as to reality bubbles, i spend my astral time studying unreality lately. I'm aware i can't afford delusions doing that. I'm always uncertain about what is true, I long to know truth and the full underlying reality and can't accept anyone elses version. [3:21:19 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: not just of this world but everything. [3:21:49 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: tis why physics fascinates me so much. [3:22:03 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: so here is this place under your own rules? [3:22:49 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: oh another reason i like to hide away in general is i hate standing out astrally for any reason. there's still bad things about, [3:23:27 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: maybe I will be up to teaching again in the future, but not now, not when I am still learning, important and real things. Ask me when i'm 40. [3:23:36 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: well when this body is 40. [3:23:36 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [3:23:47 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: heh, won't work with me [3:24:02 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: by that i mean my beliefs are too in tune with tao and egyptian [3:24:14 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: so anything i used would have to come from that [3:24:26 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: mine are a mix of celtic and shinto, as you already know. [3:24:30 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [3:25:04 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but in general the methods you would teach wouldn't be fully compatible so i'd need to learn taoist magic and egyptian magic. not witch/preistess [3:25:49 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: if the cubs are ever missing, check with me first. Actually presume they're with me first. I'm going to have them come visit me in this realm at times. They should be able to freely travel between there and here by now. [3:25:59 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: hmmm [3:26:09 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: what realm is this, it's under your own rules i assume? [3:26:23 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: no, its the realm of my home on this world [3:26:27 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ah [3:26:37 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I don't need a different dimension of my own rules anymore [3:26:56 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I am fully capable of controlling and protecting the space around me here. [3:27:01 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [3:27:33 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm just protective of my spirit. main world if you ever go visit mine is just plain nature, nothing extra [3:27:48 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: which means avoid people outside your family. there are reality bubbles there [3:28:23 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: maybe sometime. I am right now trying to keep myself grounded on this plane so I can fully vest myself in the knowledge of it [3:28:30 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [3:28:47 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: because thats the only way one can figure out how to change it [3:28:51 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: be careful alynna, even this world is filling with lies and illusions. more than i've ever seen it do in all my life [3:29:15 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: too many foxes have wrapped themselves up in illusions, afraid to see the world around them. [3:29:48 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: the world around them. The republicans have given in to total delusion. they think absolute free market will fix things, that will just turn the US into Russia [3:30:03 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: You should be careful, you run risks, and I don't want our cubs to grow up in an illusion. [3:30:14 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: they had enough of that at birth [3:30:26 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: thats why i say i think they were taken for a bit. [3:30:31 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: and they had to partially grow up without me [3:31:16 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but no they don't grow up around others. i take care of them on my own, i minimized rules, well i guess you should say i tried to make it as close to what nature would be without humanity [3:31:51 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: which means the reality of humanity is something I have to teach them. I suppose they've lived in paradise long enough. [3:32:06 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: if they want to live on this world later [3:32:59 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: not sure if your going around again, but I want reality Just not this world [3:33:16 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: they will, just like Taoki and a bunch of my cubs all dream of Home without all the problems that exist here. I sheltered many of my cubs in previous lives, and now they're all afraid of this world... [3:33:37 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm not afraid of this world i just don't like it [3:33:42 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I have to catch these two before the damage is done [3:34:15 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Taoki... refuses to work, always dreams the Changes are right around the corner... [3:34:20 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [3:34:38 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: they aren't. i'm terrified that it's already too late [3:34:57 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I'm not going to be responsible for any more useless Foxes [3:34:58 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: that the enviromental damage will lead to the mass extinctions including humanity and i know there will be no salvation from that for this world [3:35:20 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: people don't go around fixing worlds when the population chose to make it into hell itself [3:36:00 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: its up to us to show them it can be different, always has been. [3:36:45 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi sighs, "it needs keynsian economics, it needs to reduce consumption in america. it needs to back off of capitalism a lot. capitalism is important but it's not all important" [3:36:49 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I'm not hiding from this world anymore and i'm not hiding my cubs from this world anymore. [3:37:42 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: its not helping, its just prolonging this world's misery to not have strong otherkin in it that just want to whine and hide instead of standing up and saying I'm a Fox goddamnit and I have Another Way you should Try [3:38:09 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: they will laugh at you. you have to play their game if you want to change it [3:38:25 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: and you have to be mindful at all times that your playing a game otherwise it will consume you [3:38:34 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: its a slow process, but guess what we're doing now? Nothing. [3:38:48 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: have you ever tried to talk to a randian [3:39:16 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: i'm a libertarian. We cum into Atlas Shrugged on a regular basis. [3:39:41 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: have you ever studied philosophy. oh gods, we? [3:40:22 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: you think there is only one libertarian? We're a political party, look us up. [3:40:41 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: no, but i meant :P like your with others [3:40:53 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: why did you change to libertarinism? [3:41:15 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Because thats where my ideology lies [3:41:24 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm certain that's the way to the death of this world. no enviromental protections is what a lot of them believe. [3:41:44 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I pretty much have been a libertarian as long as I have held political beliefs [3:42:29 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I don't think you know alot about libertarianism. [3:43:24 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: some might believe in no environmental protections, but the constitution authorizes environmental regulations to a certain extent, though the clause that it shall have the power to 'regulate interstate commerce'. [3:43:34 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: be careful with prism btw, she isn't just in a reality bubble, she is messing all out with unreality (i know there are a lot of branches, and i know some. I loath atlas shrugged for example, and i have studied that philosophy, not just the book but the whole thing) [3:44:02 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Libertarianism is not Anarchy, it is strict constitutionalism. [3:45:11 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: it is basically, getting the government out of everything the constitution does not give it the right to be in. [3:45:47 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm a liberal of sorts. i find it is likely the best way. and i work on spreading that. every species is different, don't try to apply what works with one to another. *nods* I already believe the country needs a new constitution [3:46:03 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: that the one we have is the wrong one for the period [3:46:53 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I am not for giving the government any more power than it already has. Its out of control as it is. [3:47:29 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: indeed, but i think it needs repair in some places, utter reduction and removal in others and enhancement in a few [3:47:39 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: and I sure as fuck don't trust them to rewrite the constitution [3:50:30 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: wealth inequality is at 50% for 1% of the population. america is becoming brittle faster by the year. White base republicans are terrified, of losing their power so they balk at everything. hatred is consuming them. [3:51:15 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I dont trust our governments, or for that matter, governments in general. I don't even fully trust the Courts, I know both entities could be playing me for a fool. I think for myself. [3:53:38 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [3:53:52 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i think that's enough of politics [3:54:06 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: someday you will find the truth of what happened with kitashi and totoro. [3:54:42 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I need to beat it out of someone, for now, I'm gonna have to wait to talk to Prismwind and find out what her relationship is to The Pony [3:54:47 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: either on that day you will decide i was at fault or i wasn't and we have a chance. either way. i won't tell you what it is, i'll leave you to find it, though i doubt you will find it in this life [3:54:59 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: be careful of prism [3:55:09 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: she is messing with unreality as best i knw [3:55:17 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: not just reality bubbles [3:55:32 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I am no more worried about Prism as I am of yourself, to be honest [3:55:37 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: oh? [3:55:55 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: any reason? other than i intend no harm to you at all [3:57:14 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I doubt she will intend any harm either, but it would first presume that someone had the power to harm me in the first place [3:57:43 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: sooo, people can't hurt you? [3:58:10 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I wouldn't go that far, but its alot harder than it used to be. [3:58:30 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Fox can't hurt me for example, he has cultivated no power outside his own bubble [3:58:35 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [3:59:24 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm going everywhere constantly. yes even on earth, though your more likely to find me on mars/moon if i'm out and about normally astrally [4:00:56 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: he can go the courts he made in his own bubble and whine about me all he wants to them. He doesn't realise real foxes in the real world feel sorry for him or laugh at him, for being a fox in so much of an illusion he doesn't know whats real anymore. [4:01:19 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: prism should be on, she normally doesn't have the available sign on. And everything i do i doubt utterly. [4:01:39 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: its always good to be ones own skeptic [4:04:21 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: right now I need to go afk and see if I can figure out how to make spicy seaweed sheets so I don't have to buy them at $1.25 a baggie [4:04:43 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ah, message prismwind, and she could be on [4:04:49 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i've had enough of them [4:05:13 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: she hasn't answered yet, so I am just waiting [5:02:53 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: how go spicy seaweed sheets? [6:55:07 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: well I found out that rapeseed is just vegetable oil, usually, so thats one ingredient down.. [6:56:23 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: anyways I got to talk to Prismwind, thanks for giving me her contact info. Honestly I thought she had simply left the internet.. [6:58:31 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ah, what did you find out [6:59:37 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: well all of her pony worlds are her own constructs, much like your own sphere.. I don't see any evidence that she is trying to take over other ones.. [7:00:31 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: also send me that log again, i'm on my tablet and the log is on another PC [7:01:39 PM] *** Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi sent psycho wafare and what i learn.txt *** [7:03:06 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I got so preoccupied with the pony thing I forgot to try to figure out what you wanted me to do... [7:03:55 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: oh, lol. why did you get preocupied with that o.o [7:04:58 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: because The Pony, aka The Continuum of Pony Things, is something I like to make sure, is not being abused. [7:07:04 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: hahaahah, why. it's just a cartoon. though just read it, suffice to say I was deeply abused rl and don't like them [7:09:21 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: MLP is just a cartoon, but the brony movement is a divine act. An adjustment. Something that turns a bunch of internet tough guys into ponies into the idea of friendship and tolerance. Theres an hidden agenda about it, if it can take hold for long enough. [7:10:00 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: HAHAAHAAHAH, ok everything astral is a construct the only real things there are some of the people. afterlives are constructs, etc [7:12:02 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: and sorry, but seriously it's people who like a cartoon in a cold heartless world. i don't see divinity in it [7:12:17 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: make an observation of the real world for a moment. What is causing more change in the world, your sphere or the ponies? [7:13:01 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ponies hasn't changed the world at all. all i see is more lieing and more hate from people fighting it out over US economic policy [7:15:15 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm quite bitter but i haven't seen any brony changing the world [7:15:27 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i see people acting like they like a cartoon [7:17:52 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: change is slow, but it has changed things. Its more than can be said for all the headspace things that MANY people are thinking will change something just because they wish it. There was a pony con in denver that was raising money to form a scholarship for the performing arts. There was another to help abused animals elsewhere. But even beside that, there are people who used to be trolls that are now ponies espousing a philosophy of love and tolerance. As much as I wanted to dislike The Pony, I really can't deny the change exists. [7:19:03 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ok, they seperated thsemsleves from the girls who the cartoon is targeted at. they attack each other. play racist and sexist games. Just because you have enough fans going to a convention to raise money for a charity is meaningless. I could say that about star trek or every furry convention ever [7:19:33 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: secondly, they can still be trolls and play nice on the brony playground [7:20:12 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: to be honest theres places where I agree with you and until recently I was pulling away from the pony community [7:21:54 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: they enforce the niceness online, [7:22:05 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: not having people be nice by nature [7:22:11 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i don't see anything to it at all [7:23:03 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: keeping the genders seperate. Playing the games that way it's not a movement that will make things better. They don't accept the girls who the show was made for at all [7:23:52 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I am getting discouraged again. Especially because I had all but given up hope on the brony community. Alright, you're right, in alot of cases. But I'm getting depressed about it, so.. let me read the log again.. BTW.. What do you want me to do about all this? [7:25:24 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: nothing, i just thought vor'jen was related to unreality why i brought it up [7:27:38 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I see her as trying to defend herself in this log. I don't sense corruption on her spirit as I talked to her. And i'd have to say unreality is different than unmaking. What Fox is trapped in, is unreality, really. [7:32:59 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: and it gets the point across. I told them off in my own way. You never got to experience the abuse by them. Being threatened with rape. Weakened over and over by psychological games until i couldn't do squat. heh, of course every abused defends themselves. Theres no way to reconcile me and them. Astral: They go ok guys just don't kill her, i felt every bit of my fur ripped out, raped, and my bones broken until i was a basketball and used on court. Half my soul destroyed on my birthday Getting flayed repeatedly by darkness The more the psychological games went on by them the weaker i got spiritually and the more i got assaulted there. I can't stand being exposed astrally anymore. Physical: Birthday, threatened with rape, told you don't need me and they run off for an orgy Playing the master game with whatever that person's name was while using pressure points to cause me physical pain. The day I got up the nerve to call the cops I got dragged down and confined until i promised not to. Raged at, try to get them out of bed so they can do what they need to do rather than lay there all day and they struggle, whining i don't want to see april. But i cna't leave her, then constantly invite April over. . [7:33:00 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: . [7:33:00 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: . [7:33:11 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i can't go on right now [7:33:31 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: making your own reality is not bad, don't get me wrong.. losing yourself into that reality, is however.. [7:33:59 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: did you ever like live with them? Or did this all happen astral? [7:34:05 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: I Lived [7:34:06 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: with them [7:34:18 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: thats why i seperated the two [7:36:04 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: thats what i was trying to indirectly warn you of [7:36:50 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: because it still hurts to state it. I haven't even gone into a hundreth of what happened physically. PTSD flashbacks SUCK [7:36:51 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: her and alex? her and jsue? neski? [7:37:19 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: of just prism and yeah Neski was the master who wanted to be a demon so constantly tried to summon them [7:37:24 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: that was unpleasant too [7:37:38 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Neski is someone I hate with the fury of a thousand suns [7:38:00 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: both physical and astral. driving all those little things out of him. Oh what happened with neski and you? [7:39:36 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: i'm not gonna get started on that i'll just summarize that my love, trust and submission for her was abused, frequently and greatly. I had to fry my links to her, not just break them. For all the abuse of me you did, Neski took two levels above. [7:39:50 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: turnning my soul into swiss chess in my own house to get rid of all that contamination neski brought sucked too. I hate Neski but i also hate prism intensely. [7:40:12 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: do you know how sucky it is to break soul bonds:/ [7:40:26 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: not soul bonding as into fictional characters but what was done with prism [7:41:07 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: I had been convinced by fox and prism Kitashi and Totoro weren't real you know. that was just the way that was [7:42:47 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: when you came to me I hadn't spoken to Prism in at least 8 years. I didn't hate her either.. I'm not saying its bad you came to me, but I am wondering what you expected me to do.. [7:43:30 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: *shrugs* i just wanted info from you is all. but i see how much things have changed [7:44:50 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: physical, mental, emotional, sexual abuse is shit. the reason i had tried making blue and red 2, was because prism had me so convinced i was going to lose everyone i hadn't made myself. i really ripped apart my own being to give them more than just illusion status over a period of years. [7:45:33 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but the second reason i told you is because damn it i worry about you [7:46:13 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: other than the kitsashi and totoro incident when did i abuse you? [7:47:04 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: oh yeah that total rejection of your divinity thing while you were fighting with fox. [7:47:28 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I haven't tracked the vor'jen's dealings in over 6 years either. They became irrelevant to me when I reached a certain level of power. To be honest, and I hate to put it like this, but the vor'jen are the charge of mortals to deal with, they're like the level 1 mobs you fight while you're still learning the real game. [7:47:54 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ummm, certain level of power? [7:48:50 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: you were constantly concerned about that. you make it sound like you quit the normal things and went to wicca and preisthood of i don't know what [7:49:33 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: yeah well i was young and trapped in fox's bubble where they looked bigger than they are. [7:50:30 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: heheh, well a few decades doesn't change a kitsune's power radicaly, but psychological limitations can be lost [7:50:31 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: well I wasn't young.. but I was still trapped in his bubble. [7:51:11 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [7:51:15 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: neither of us liked his reality [7:51:25 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i was constantly at his throat for how immoral it was [7:51:59 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: and we would both get worked up and hurt each other. [7:52:51 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i just came to you to know of your knowledge, and i was thinking of you [7:53:06 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i never tried to abuse you, we just wound up hurting each other [7:54:10 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: the second part of mentioning things was i knew you wanted to talk to prism and i wanted you to not risk getting sucked into that abuse [7:54:50 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: What I figured out was that, well, fighting him on his points, didn't matter while I was still in the bubble. You took every little thing I said that might be hurtful when I was just trying to tell you where your faults might be, and then set out to destroy my heart every time... [7:55:40 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I was never trying to hurt you, but you always reacted with all the hate you could muster. [7:56:10 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: oh, well while believing what fox was at *shakes my head* i believe what i did and though i had to convince you of your lack of divinity for your sake or something. [7:56:25 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'd have to read every log i have to recall all the words we said to each other [7:57:29 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: I had already been convinced you were whacked out by fox:/ [7:57:38 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but back on topic, for the mortals to deal with? your immortal, or what do you mean [7:58:00 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: yeah, well, it didn't work, and it didn't change anything, about what I am or am not. All it did was push me out of Fox's playground. I'm not so desperate for a family that I will descecrate myself for it. [7:58:15 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [7:58:31 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: well then it did you good at least, and i'm sorry i hurt you [7:58:49 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i really didn't mean to. i got hurt back too by the way things were [7:59:03 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but i always recalled you never did it with conscious malicious will [7:59:19 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: to be honest, I don't want excuses about why everyone couldn't just accept me for who I am. I appreciate the apology though. [8:00:17 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ummm, tell me who you are then. I've learned better than to outright dismiss it though I might not directly believe you either. is it the same as then? [8:01:13 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I don't discuss it anymore, sorry. Either people have eyes and can see, or they cannot. I honestly don't care what people think about me or it anymore. [8:01:23 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ah [8:01:31 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I came out of that situation with damage. [8:01:36 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [8:01:37 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: me too [8:01:59 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: damage I allowed just because I wanted my family to accept me and hold me and for me to be important to them. [8:02:56 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: and noone could just do that. [8:03:25 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: they had to play Fox's game of 'OH IM THE ONLY DIVINITY AROUND HERE' [8:03:27 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: cute little goddess of something. *grins and does recall but isn't in a state to go looking right now* also your hiding away in your body. honestly i fell in love harder for you than i did for prism. and i'm sorry, i had been so manipulated and messed up i couldn't just accept you [8:04:54 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: your wings sparkle like a rainbow btw. i really wish you could accept my word i didn't kidnap our kits [8:05:39 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i had been even more blinded by that time astrally not to mention i was so convinced by fox/prism they weren't real why would i have ever bothered x.x [8:06:04 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: why are you telling me all this now [8:06:25 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: because were talking [8:07:41 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: we normally don't. not to mention i kept my distance. i had been too traumatized for years i know i could have in the last 2 or 3 but that would have meant reliving the trauma. The primary reason is because i was assasulted on the 2nd and i'm reliving the trauma anyways so I can stand to face it down since i alreadyd have to [8:10:38 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: *blushes* your skype picture doesn't do you justice. your a nine tail with wings that sparkle like a brilliant rainbow. [8:11:28 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: back then prismwind was pretty much the only person who didn't abuse me, you realise that right? [8:11:46 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: do you recall when they disappeared? [8:12:00 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: and everyone else knew where they were except the two of us [8:12:26 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: who? The cubs or prism? [8:12:30 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: prism [8:12:44 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: prism was avoiding both of us:/ [8:13:25 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I don't recall whether I disappeared before prism or not. I stopped coming to the channel because you and Fox were tearing me apart inside.. [8:13:32 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [8:14:01 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I made a conscious decision to save myself from the abuse [8:14:03 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: prism encouraged it in me:/ i went for double verification i still have every log and im sorry [8:15:35 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: whatever happens what i want most is simply to say is i really hope we do spend a live together. especially when were of the right genders. I can't stand male on male at all anymore [8:15:48 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: even though i can be attracted to thhem [8:17:00 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: if you have logs of it, i'd want to see it. I haven't saved all the logs, honestly I thought this part of my life was over.. [8:17:55 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: tell me if i'm right, *nods* you have nine tails, your hair is shorter than the skype picture but you have some at least if you in anthro form. and your wings are self-luminescient, they don't just sparkle from light hitting them, they give off light [8:20:03 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: my hair is more in a bun than the picture.. [8:21:04 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: well, *nods* didn't look too hard at your hair *blushes* i'll find the log it's just under the personal chats with prism and hit search for goddess [8:30:06 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: [28-13:07:52] and what she said in #spiritual. Alynna: "Fox am I a goddess?" [28-13:08:07] Heh... [28-13:08:42] What we couldn't seem to get her to understand was that we accepted HER as a person, that we didn't NEED to believe she was a goddess to accept her. when kitsashi and totoro born again, that was 04 too wasn't it [8:30:48 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: keep going.. that isn't enough. [8:30:51 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i have a lot of logs spread all over the place [8:32:21 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: 07-13:02:22] * Tsunari nuzzles you lightly. "About Alynna what about her belief she is a god? Do you know where that comes from?" [07-13:02:37] It seems to be a bit more than just because of her soul family. [07-13:02:43] Heh... no, but I have a guess... [07-13:03:16] I don't know what, exactly, happened... but... has Fox told you about the "Chess Player"? [07-13:03:44] No [07-13:05:36] * Prismwind sighs [07-13:05:56] What you sighing for? [07-13:06:13] * Tsunari cuddles you close. [07-13:06:57] Here's the short version... two beings were really nasty and intended to have control over thigns, and were pretty powerful to boot. They manipulated a lot of beings like pawns. And any time one of them would "win", the other would reset things, replaying the same time line over and over in a game neither could win. Someone had to stop them... [07-13:07:29] Of those that did, Fox's mother is the only one still remotely sane. Mention it to most of the others, and they break down crying and never want to speak to you again. [8:34:52 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: keep going because I know the entities that were doing that and it was actually happening. [8:38:03 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: they yeilded to you for a while after i was around for two months have to see when they stopped that [8:40:59 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: logically, my own claims were no less or more legit than Fox's, so why'd everyone believe him? [8:41:55 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: partly because prism said you weren't. I mean if you read that again carefully since i have to look through it all. She said only Fox mom was remotely sane [8:42:53 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: *blushes remembering how that hurt right backk* [01-23:58:11] You.. just dont seem like a person to me... doesn't now [8:45:25 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: random bit i find insulting not about you [8:45:26 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: [03-00:09:57] [23:31] hmmm [03-00:09:58] [23:31] such things were connected to...that night too...and problems I had...erf [03-00:09:58] [23:31] If they are doing that... [03-00:10:05] [23:33] They want me back. They want to torment me till I crawl back and beg for mercy. But I would be forced back anyway, if everything was destroyed... I'm betting they are doing this because we are enough of a threat for them to act, but they are too arrogant to think they need to really take us seriously. [03-00:10:06] [23:35] * Fox nods [03-00:10:06] [23:35] I figured that, they were cuasing pain, as they think it will bring you back [03-00:10:06] [23:35] so they can say "I told you so" [03-00:10:13] [23:36] Yes... they want to prove my love isn't better, that my love isn't as powerful as I thought, that it can't make me strong enough to face them... [03-00:10:14] [23:41] WE will stop this..I can't permit them to use people like that [03-00:10:14] [23:42] You know what is ironic? They probably encouraged people like Alynna, Jsue, and Tsu to love me in the first place, because they knew they could manipulate their emotions to cause me pain. But in the end, my love will win. [8:48:35 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: [15-20:33:20] [15-20:17:26] the fact she lied to my face hurts [15-20:33:20] [15-20:17:32] there was no lotus really [15-20:33:20] [15-20:17:38] O.O. You learned that? [15-20:33:20] [15-20:17:49] its very very unlikely lotus exists [15-20:33:20] [15-20:17:52] anubis doesnt even know [15-20:33:20] [15-20:17:57] Yeah... [15-20:33:29] [15-20:18:28] so im guessing lotus = another fake. [15-20:33:29] [15-20:18:32] and alynna lied to my face [8:49:07 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: [17-20:52:12] No, but hopefully, you will be some protection... Alynna is so involved with her projects and ignores everyone so much, I don't dare trust her with the job. And of the others, you are the one I think will be most capable of learning to fight quickly enough before me and Fox have to go [17-20:52:48] Well, I can aid Fox fighting them... knowledge of them, help him use powers on that level since he won't be used to it, etc. [8:49:40 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I never lied to him.. [8:49:59 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but i think your starting to see:/ [8:50:59 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: the reason I was ignoring 'everyone' was because of people pushing me away.. [8:51:48 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I don't even remember who Lotus was.. [8:52:55 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ummm, damn it. have to go back and track that down:/ [8:53:17 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: you know initially i believed you completely on red and blue, they wore me down over time [8:53:43 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: [10-23:00:13] I have to make sure Red and Blue exist someday ^^; *Alynna named the two kits she thought she had that* She isn't connected to Esper but is to the other IRC servers she goes to... [10-23:00:41] * Prismwind nods... [8:54:34 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: Red and Blue were temporary names for them [8:55:01 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I usually let my cubs choose their own names.. [8:55:17 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i know [8:55:31 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but they didn't have names yet [8:57:44 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: [12-00:49:17] [12-00:43:42] I dont know what to say either, i just... [12-00:49:17] [12-00:44:12] my reasons for it are something you're unlikely to ever accept and may not be able to change. [12-00:49:17] [12-00:44:29] they have to do with that 'not being real' thing. [12-00:49:17] [12-00:44:59] *sighs* I feel real... [12-00:49:17] [12-00:48:52] my kits felt real too. [12-00:49:17] [12-00:49:06] they actually felt more real to me than you did... [8:58:07 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: next up had to do with telling me i was being controlled by one of Prism's enemies. [9:05:04 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/200807/understanding-the-dynamics-abusive-relationships [9:05:21 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: because rereading some of those logs is starting to make me sick for not realizing it then [9:08:43 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: if thats all of it... theres nothing there where she said she didn't believe me outright, or that she was trying to get others to not believe me.. [9:09:42 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: even in your logs, she's the nicest of the bunch.. [9:10:02 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: i'm actually more pissed off about Armonkyi [9:10:28 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: [30-17:15:35] Red and Blue existed. As far as I am concerned one of you, either Prism or Fox or you or someone over there either took them away or killed them. [30-17:16:35] Or all of you... Who knows. i dont know. All I know is that they existed. [30-17:16:48] And you all tried to say they never existed. [30-17:16:58] Which is inherently suspicious. [30-17:17:48] So yes, i'm pissed. I personally think you did it. I think you did it because I didn't spend enough time with you and you wanted to get me back and hurt me. [30-17:18:07] you've proven yourself capable of it repeatedly. [30-17:19:30] anyway i'm done talking about it. [9:11:47 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I think that last line is my sentiment on the whole thing at this point. [9:11:59 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [9:12:01 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ok, [9:12:14 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i have a question were you ever truly afraid of me [9:15:03 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: were you ever afraid of any of the others. I don't think i should pursue things this life if you were ever afraid of me. Truth finds it's own way out even should it take lifetimes [9:17:20 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: i was more afraid of what you would do to the cubs to hurt me. [9:18:45 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I was never afraid of Fox. I never had a reason to fear Prism. Nor Shai. [9:19:50 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: that doesn't mean Fox didn't hurt me, but I never feared him, like he was going to strike me down or some shit. All I wanted was what I said I wanted. [9:20:11 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [9:21:38 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: you have no clue how defensive i am of cubs, if i hadn't thought they didn't exist i would have torn everything apart to find them. I did initially but people kept trying to convince me they weren't real. I know Prism can't hurt me but i'm mind numbingly terrified of them [9:21:44 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: and extreme hatred [9:23:31 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: so thats why i worry, if you ever get hurt i'll come to your defense against them not because i doubt your ability but because even black belts can lsoe to non-martial artists if an abuser gets in their head. I think we were both too young physically back then [9:24:12 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i was searching desperately to find my kitsune self and getting so many paths i'd go down them. tell me what you sense about me knowing i already know what i sense about myself [9:26:30 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi is changing the subject since we are getting worrrrked up [9:29:58 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: i can tell you are a kitsune, a three tail, but further than that I just don't want to go. I am still debating whether I can trust you, the story of what happened to my cubs gets changed so much. I have been debating whether or not I should just accept that they are now your cubs and disappear. [9:32:03 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: because I can't experience the pain you and Fox inflicted on me again. I have a life, and THIS can't become my life, where I have to explain to everyone around me why I am crying. When I lived alone, it was fine to cry, because noone could see me cry... [9:33:28 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [9:34:53 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm sorry, they have been with me too long for you to get them politically, there are other worlds that they can help if you choose not to. [9:36:26 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi means they have seen my political philosophies and such. [9:37:34 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I don't really care what political philosophies they subscribe to. Its always been theirs to decide... [9:38:59 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [9:39:24 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: your trying to decide if it's worth having further contact with me to be involved with their lives [9:40:42 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: can I actually trust you to not blackmail me with them... [9:43:14 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: huh o.o erm i can honestly say if they were ever let near prism i'd go ballistic. but with you personally. you have always been a parent, i don't know how well it will go. or if they will like being around humans at all [9:44:19 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: but with you no i wouldn't. though i honestly have to say with what i see on the world i'm nervous about them being too exposed astrally [9:44:28 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi means physically of course [9:47:18 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i don't know what to say [9:48:18 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i mean i'd do so if it came to letting them near prism ever ever ever. and there are other things that make me nervous, not to mention will this make you cry [9:54:15 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi frowns pouting, unable to say because Prism terrifies me so utterly that i won't risk either of them, (Prism fucked up two of my kids >.>) [9:59:19 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi falls down and realizes the truth as regards prism. "I can't every instinct in me says that if you have contact with Prism I have to keep them as far awway from it as possible" [10:00:36 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I'll think of something.. for now, my brain and my heart is tired. [10:00:51 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [10:02:14 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i'm sorry, for the pain. but as goes blackmail it's impossible for me not to as regards prism, even keeping them away from them isn't enough after what i experienced:/ and i'm happy for you on finding happyness [10:09:29 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: I have been debating whether or not I should just accept that they are now your cubs and disappear.*sighs* they really are now after all the absenteeism. I don't want to say it I don't want to do it, I hate doing it. But I think that's best... [10:21:53 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: ... alright. I'm not going to argue this any further. But after this.. remove yourself from my forums, my irc network, and my life. I am giving you the kits, but, you no longer exist to me. Any further contact with me will be ignored. I will be unable to forgive or forget this course of action even if I think its for the best. [10:21:54 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: goodbye i think, i can't afford any chance on prism and kitashi and totoro. regardless of your view of it all, it would turn to a pure fight, so the question i'd have could you say you would never ever talk to Prism again [10:22:08 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi nods [10:22:11 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: bye [10:22:28 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: i already have removed myself from your forums, all my posts have been gone for a long time [10:28:32 PM] Alynna Trypnotk: I am now figuring out where the ignore button is. Goodbye. [10:29:14 PM] Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi: ack, it's block, and apparently i need to do it on my laptop too. goodbye [10:38:54 PM] *** Alynna Trypnotk blocked Tsunami Sesen/Hideyoshi ***