[9/23/2015 7:05:56 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: May I be released from my promise?
[9/23/2015 7:17:01 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: to not talk to anyone anyomore?
[9/23/2015 7:17:08 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: and to not run away?
[9/23/2015 7:17:22 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: All of them
[9/23/2015 7:17:56 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I want you to be specific.  I don't know all the ones you could mean.
[9/23/2015 7:18:24 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: A simple yes or no
[9/23/2015 7:19:03 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: Yes, I suppose, I never meant to hold you to them anyway.
[9/23/2015 7:19:35 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Please don't run away grand sire
[9/23/2015 7:19:59 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: we love you
[9/23/2015 7:20:19 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: he's going to, he has to, and I actually understand why.
[9/23/2015 7:20:22 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: Yeah please we all love you grandsire.
[9/23/2015 7:20:47 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: whatever you do know we will always love you
[9/23/2015 7:20:53 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Thank you. Qu'soolin and Ko'onthra, do you release me from my promises?
[9/23/2015 7:21:01 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: yes
[9/23/2015 7:21:17 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: but we love you
[9/23/2015 7:21:33 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I'm not going to make him stay here and just hurt.  I love you, and I always will just remember that while you're gone.
[9/23/2015 7:22:15 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: It's hard to say yes because I really love you grandsire. ;(
[9/23/2015 7:22:52 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: It must be unanimous or I cannot leave. I will wait for Roam and... Ajashara to have their say.
[9/23/2015 7:23:00 PM | Edited 7:23:39 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: I really don't like to see you hurt.
[9/23/2015 7:24:00 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: It is nothing you have done. I have nothing left.
[9/23/2015 7:24:18 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: sorry qu is just crying
[9/23/2015 7:24:31 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I will remain until they release me.
[9/23/2015 7:24:52 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: aj is in bed as far as i know
[9/23/2015 7:25:09 PM] Roam: I'll release you from them. But yeah. Aja is likely in bed.
[9/23/2015 7:26:47 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Thank you. I will stay until she releases me. After that, if you see me again it will be because I chose to follow the Dark. If you do not hear from me again, it means I retained my sanity.
[9/23/2015 7:31:09 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Do not be sad for me, Qu'soolin. I willingly chose this path of sorrow. I could have remained leader. I could have chosen not to follow the We People. I could have...
[9/23/2015 7:31:28 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I could have told Illiane'thi not to come to Earth.
[9/23/2015 7:31:51 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I made these choices with my eyes wide open.
[9/23/2015 7:32:23 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Now I must travel the path I built for myself.
[9/23/2015 7:32:55 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I blame no one but myself.
[9/23/2015 7:37:04 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I did tell Rashek not to come to Earth, but I don't know if it's too late.
[9/23/2015 7:41:14 PM | Edited 7:43:11 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: I'll try not to be sad but it's going to be hard just remember I always love you grandsire.
[9/23/2015 7:41:52 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: i have messagew from gm. I don't it just came over me. should i relay it to you grand sire
[9/23/2015 7:43:14 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I have lost my soul mate. I am only half a unicorn now. There is nothing she can do to help me.
[9/23/2015 7:43:28 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: She made her own choice as you still can make your own choice your path isn't set in stone brother. Sometimes you can be so thickheaded. You choose your own path not the we people not lia ,not qu or ko. You are in control of your own path. This is sleepyhead or whatever you want to call me. I won't release you from your promise. Be flexible and flow like a river. I've seen you run away time and tme again no more running away. Take things slowly do not rush things. If you take things slowly then you will reap the rewards. I will always love you dear brother and to all my children do not run away anymore I've grown tired of this constant back stabbing of one another. Stick together be there for one another this isbn't unicorn beghavior. I am coming over hok and everyone .
[9/23/2015 7:45:33 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Great Mother I have lost the one thing that meant more to me than even my own existence. I feel nothing but sorrow. I care not for my future. If I could cease to be, I would.
[9/23/2015 7:48:11 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Where once there was Light, now I only see Dark.
[9/23/2015 7:48:27 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: You han't lost anyone dear brother. She is willing to be there for you.However you are moving to fast. be like stream and flow gently when it comes to her. Instead of residing where you are go to her . be with her. Love conquesrs all>Don't give up. No more running away. Your problems will always follow you where ever you go
[9/23/2015 7:49:38 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: True
[9/23/2015 7:49:51 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I am watching all of this happening, but so far everyone is giving about the same advice I would.  I'm being too affected by the emotions involved to be good for channeling, but I do not believe that Rashek has crossed over yet.
[9/23/2015 7:50:27 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: What if I go to her and she runs away?
[9/23/2015 7:53:54 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: She is in terrible pain. She told me she wanted to be with me where I am. I gave her a way. She rejected it. I do not know what to do when she tells me that she wants to come be with me, but then changes her mind when I start to act.
[9/23/2015 7:54:34 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: She has already crossed over and she will indeed be in that world as a fully awaken unicorn. She always wanted to see the human world through her own eyes. I will say this again dear one yes you are hurting but you need to be stronger. You have not lost her yet but if you keep acting like this you will lose her and everyone  else that cares about you. I will not let you fall into darkness. I will not stand for it. I really am starting get angry and I havn't been this angry in centuries. Do not start saying you fall to darkness once you let in there is no fgoing back. I won't let that happen.
[9/23/2015 7:55:48 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: Has Rashek crossed over?
[9/23/2015 7:56:04 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: gm says yes
[9/23/2015 7:56:13 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: But I am moving at her pace. I only gave her a plan when she told me she wanted to be with me. Her pace keeps changing and I don't know what to do.
[9/23/2015 7:56:41 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: then match it. Love is never easy
[9/23/2015 7:57:17 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Love was always easy over there.
[9/23/2015 8:00:01 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: yes its easy but also challenging as well. Nothing is ever easy in life here or there. Its the challenge thast makes it worth doing. Don't give when things are hard. If you want it then take it .Do anything to be with her even if takes time to do it never give up or give in you'll find strength from with in i taught ko that line
[9/23/2015 8:00:18 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I do not understand it. We were made for each other. We have always been together. Why does she hesitate? She has never hesitated before.
[9/23/2015 8:01:22 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Cause silly she isn't the same illiane'thi. She both ajshara and Illiane'thi. A blending of the two. She loves you.
[9/23/2015 8:02:00 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: So true.
[9/23/2015 8:02:34 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: because I told you there might be differences when she came here... I also think you're being very premature with your 'you've lost her' assessments..
[9/23/2015 8:02:44 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I have my doubts that Ajashara loves me. I feel that that half sees this as nothing more than a game online.
[9/23/2015 8:05:10 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: She does infact love silly even i can sense it . your mate Illiane'thi over on this side still loves you even if she isn't go to merge with she loves like nothing else. If ever you want to be there for she will come just as i will.
[9/23/2015 8:05:53 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I hate this world. I wish I had never come here.
[9/23/2015 8:06:36 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: -sighs-
[9/23/2015 8:08:52 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Brother do not give in. Don't give up. I know you stronger than you think you are. Your family loves you and will support you. If you run away then you will lose everything. I will not stand for just giving up. You have sacrificed so much for the humans and i undersatand its hard
[9/23/2015 8:09:20 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Please i ask you please don't give up.
[9/23/2015 8:09:25 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I will have to stay since you do not release me from my promises, Great Mother. And I will go to her.  - sighs again- And I will match her infuriatingly unpredictable pace.
[9/23/2015 8:10:24 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And I will complain loudly all along the way.
[9/23/2015 8:10:45 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Dear brother she your chalenge and i know you have overcome greater odds than this. Be strong be who you've always been.
[9/23/2015 8:11:02 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: to be honest, I do believe you need to slow down the pace with her.  Truly, you went from discovering her to proposing marriage in 2 days.  That's just.. no matter who they are.. its too fast.
[9/23/2015 8:11:33 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: and its going to be scary no matter who it is, its a major life change
[9/23/2015 8:12:07 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Listen to your daughter she has wisdom. Follow her cousil
[9/23/2015 8:12:38 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: I agree.
[9/23/2015 8:13:12 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: I'm leaving ko and coming to visit both of you. Know that i will always be here for my children
[9/23/2015 8:13:15 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: None of you were in on our conversation. Don't judge me unless you have all the facts.
[9/23/2015 8:13:26 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: alright..
[9/23/2015 8:14:00 PM | Edited 8:14:20 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You have no idea why I jumped to marriage today. You didn't see what I saw this morning.
[9/23/2015 8:15:02 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: she left
[9/23/2015 8:15:18 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i'm still here
[9/23/2015 8:15:18 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: I wouldn't dare judge you grand sire
[9/23/2015 8:15:34 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i'm just listening now
[9/23/2015 8:16:15 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I saw my beloved mate in terrible pain, wanting me to make it stop. So I found the fastest solution I could come up with in this shithole world. I thought she would be thrilled at my solution. But instead she backed away. I could not have foreseen that.
[9/23/2015 8:17:28 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: My mate was in pain. She reached out to me for help. So I did what any loving mate would do. How was I supposed to know Ajashara would balk at my solution?
[9/23/2015 8:18:32 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So don't judge me. I am doing the best I can in this godforsaken world. My mate suffers. I am supposed to take away the suffering. That's my responsibility as her beloved.
[9/23/2015 8:19:31 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i'm not juding you..
[9/23/2015 8:19:39 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: niether am i
[9/23/2015 8:20:16 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Take a moment to look at it through my heart. Imagine how it must be to watch your mate suffer and not be able to do anything about it. Stop criticizing me and just for once try to see it from my side.
[9/23/2015 8:20:34 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: Or neither I
[9/23/2015 8:20:59 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You would not expect me to just sit there and watch without trying to do something about it.
[9/23/2015 8:21:10 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So that's what I did .
[9/23/2015 8:21:23 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: I would do anything to stop thier suffering
[9/23/2015 8:22:14 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Right. So you can understand why I proposed marriage so that she could be with me as soon as possible so that she would stop suffering.
[9/23/2015 8:22:35 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: yes
[9/23/2015 8:22:48 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: I see your point grandsire.
[9/23/2015 8:23:57 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You sit there and tell me that you can think clearly and logically when your mate is in terrible pain. Tell me you can act rationally when your mate is crying out to you for help.
[9/23/2015 8:25:05 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: no i would have acted a similar manner. I would look for the quickest solution to our problem. And no i was not judging you
[9/23/2015 8:25:21 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Why ever would you think that
[9/23/2015 8:25:28 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I only was doing what I have always done: fix a unicorn's suffering the fastest way possible.
[9/23/2015 8:25:44 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: I could not sit there either.
[9/23/2015 8:26:00 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: i can understand that but here things are more complicated
[9/23/2015 8:26:40 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So before you all criticize me for proposing marriage in two days, take a moment to try to understand why I did.
[9/23/2015 8:26:58 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: -snorts-
[9/23/2015 8:27:40 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: I understand why. I did the same thing and I got hurt I just don't want to see you get hurt.
[9/23/2015 8:27:42 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Things are only complicated because we make it so. Life here can be simple if we wish it to be.
[9/23/2015 8:27:54 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: true
[9/23/2015 8:29:41 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So in the future, before you get on my case about something I did, take a moment and ask what you would have done. Take a moment to remember that our mates are our life, and we will do anything to make them happy.
[9/23/2015 8:31:07 PM] *** Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk nods ***
[9/23/2015 8:31:26 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: This morning I tried to make her happy in the way that has always worked before. I discovered it doesn't work now. And for a time, I was in despair. Illiane'thi has never pushed me away before. Never. I did not know what to do. I felt I had lost her.
[9/23/2015 8:32:36 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: But then Sleepy reminded me that she is a blend of Illiane'thi and Ajashara. Her reactions are going to be different now. Okay. Fine. Now I know.
[9/23/2015 8:34:44 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: You still Illiane'thi back home she is your mate and always will be
[9/23/2015 8:36:53 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: That's not enough now. The idea that I could have her on this side of the Veil was planted in me, and now I must have it.
[9/23/2015 8:38:29 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Also, I don't know if any of you are talking about my private conversations in other private conversations, but if you are, it needs to stop. This is not how we behave. Which is why I had this conversation here, in the open, where everyone can see it.
[9/23/2015 8:40:31 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: right now only thing I am doing is watching this and nomming orange peels
[9/23/2015 8:43:02 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: actually in the other chat we are dicussing why the astral planes are acting strange and why human are a pain in the ass. like one human that owes me money makes promise after promise and breaks them time and time again is what i'm dealing with
[9/23/2015 8:46:03 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I feel like I should be punching somebody for all this shit. But I can't put a face to my frustration.
[9/23/2015 8:46:45 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: The We People tried to talk to me earlier. I told them to fuck off.
[9/23/2015 8:55:13 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Well I don't feel a whole lot better. I am trying to match her speed. I really am. But it's confusing when she keeps changing it from one day to the next.
[9/23/2015 8:55:56 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Illiane'thi wants one thing while Ajashara wants another. I don't know what to do.
[9/23/2015 8:57:15 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Know whatever happens I will always be here for you grand sire.
[9/23/2015 8:58:39 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I can hardly wait until Rashek shows up. There isn't enough soap opera. I need more. :P
[9/23/2015 9:00:00 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: hehe
[9/23/2015 9:00:10 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: Lol
[9/23/2015 9:00:36 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
[9/23/2015 9:01:07 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: Yup
[9/23/2015 9:01:39 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: oh no not that one. My human uncle played few of those edisodes
[9/23/2015 9:03:32 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Otherside Lia still talks with me every day. But our relationship doesn't quite feel like it did. The Illiane'thi I have always known is gone. In her place are two mares...neither one of which is quite like the original anymore.
[9/23/2015 9:03:38 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I'm so confused.
[9/23/2015 9:04:16 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: It's like the foundation under my feet is no longer solid.
[9/23/2015 9:04:48 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: we are your foudation grand sire
[9/23/2015 9:04:58 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And I don't know whether to ride it out until it settles or leap off and run away. That's what it feels like.
[9/23/2015 9:05:13 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: I can understand
[9/23/2015 9:06:10 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: (heart)
[9/23/2015 9:06:22 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Millions upon millions of years of life being the same. And now everything is changing. Nothing is what it was. I keep looking around for something familiar...and it's all changed.
[9/23/2015 9:08:03 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: You have your family.
[9/23/2015 9:08:24 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: you have our dam
[9/23/2015 9:08:32 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: you have us
[9/23/2015 9:09:33 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: As I said, everything has changed. None of you are what you were. I am having a hard time adjusting.
[9/23/2015 9:11:23 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: If we can change so can you. Hell you are one awesome grand sire if anyone can change you can
[9/23/2015 9:12:23 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: True
[9/23/2015 9:12:58 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: You are one awesome grandsire.
[9/23/2015 9:21:39 PM | Edited 9:21:54 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Something else her and I have butted heads about before is her parents. They still boss her around like she is a child. It irritates me to see a powerful person like Ajashara / Illiane'thi being pushed around by ignorant humans.
[9/23/2015 9:22:25 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: going through this lifetime damages people, we all know this
[9/23/2015 9:23:01 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: true
[9/23/2015 9:24:31 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I'm like you are a direct child of Gaia and the second most powerful unicorn. Why are you letting these humans push you around?
[9/23/2015 9:28:02 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I screamed three times earlier, louder than I ever have before. I hope it affected people on the Otherside. I'd like them to feel how much it hurts to live here.
[9/23/2015 9:30:10 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: K'shencra, you know how you're very direct with me when you talk to me?
[9/23/2015 9:30:55 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: yep..
[9/23/2015 9:33:15 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Do you know that's how I was with the unicorns in the community that I ran, and I was considered a mean jerk by them for being that way?
[9/23/2015 9:34:06 PM] *** Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk just earlowers ***
[9/23/2015 9:35:19 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Do you talk to them that way? Or only me?
[9/23/2015 9:36:17 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: you think I was trying to be cruel to you
[9/23/2015 9:36:45 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And once again you assume incorrectly.
[9/23/2015 9:36:57 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: How about answering my question?
[9/23/2015 9:37:40 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: if I am not speaking 'very direct' to someone I am probably withholding facts.
[9/23/2015 9:38:08 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So you do talk to the others the same way?
[9/23/2015 9:38:30 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: sometimes.  It depends on the situation.
[9/23/2015 9:38:44 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And have they run away?
[9/23/2015 9:38:54 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I think Kulstor did
[9/23/2015 9:40:13 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Okay. My point was that there is a history where it was always okay for any of them to talk to me that way, but the moment I did it, I was suddenly the asshole. Very double standard.
[9/23/2015 9:41:12 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: They expected me to be above all that and suffer whatever slings and arrows they wanted to throw at me.
[9/23/2015 9:41:41 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: The minute I protested, I was the jerk.
[9/23/2015 9:48:41 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I'm assuming you want to know about these things. If not let me know and I'll stop talking about it.
[9/23/2015 9:49:04 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i'm reading while trying to finish homework that I put off till today
[9/23/2015 9:49:39 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Just making sure. No one else ever wants to hear my side of the story.
[9/23/2015 9:49:59 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: T1-CP4
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[9/23/2015 9:50:07 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I'm beginning to hate this class.
[9/23/2015 9:50:16 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I get a 0% on something 'very good'
[9/23/2015 9:52:53 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You yourself said it isn't the fault of any one person, yet they all make it sound like I am 100% at fault for the failure of the previous unicorn communities.
[9/23/2015 9:53:53 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: those things don't even matter anymore, its long gone.  I can't change those people, but maybe they will change.
[9/23/2015 9:54:09 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Great Mother nailed it when she talked about backstabbing. There was plenty of that going on.
[9/23/2015 9:55:05 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: true
[9/23/2015 9:55:14 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: May not matter to you. But it matters to me. But if you want to just dismiss my complaints as unimportant, I'll keep it to myself.
[9/23/2015 9:56:06 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: wow.
[9/23/2015 9:56:32 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I did not say they were unimportant
[9/23/2015 9:56:44 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I said I can't do anything to change it
[9/23/2015 9:57:21 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I wish I could.  I wish we could just have one nice unified unicorn community
[9/23/2015 10:01:15 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Don't even matter anymore sure sounds like dismissal. Wow.
[9/23/2015 10:02:10 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: you are attacking me and I don't know why.
[9/23/2015 10:02:33 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Now you know how I feel when you do it to me.
[9/23/2015 10:03:02 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: hmm..
[9/23/2015 10:03:39 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Go ahead. I'm ready.
[9/23/2015 10:03:48 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: for what?
[9/23/2015 10:04:03 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Whatever you want to throw at me.
[9/23/2015 10:04:23 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I've got nothing.
[9/23/2015 10:04:35 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Okie dokie
[9/23/2015 10:05:17 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Well it's been an unpleasant day. Looking forward to more of the same tomorrow. Adios
[9/23/2015 10:08:21 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: what did I do wrong now..
[9/23/2015 10:10:37 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Oh and by the way, I like how whenever there is a problem between me and someone else, you guys are always quick to tell me everything I did wrong. Once again making me out to be 100% at fault. Thanks for that.
[9/23/2015 10:10:45 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Now I'm out.
[9/23/2015 10:45:27 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: No you know what? I'll tell you why I'm angry with you, K'shencra. Not that it will change anything; I'm always the bad guy if I do anything other than frolic. So what the hell. I might as well speak my mind. Worst you can do is kick me out. From the first day you came to me for help, you have disrespected me. You have gone on the defensive, criticized me, and always assumed the worst. You bought in to the stories told about me, just like all the rest. I left you because I got sick of being treated that way. Then when I came back, you told me everything that was wrong with me. You're real quick to point out everything I have done to hurt the other unicorns, but the minute I talk about what they did to me, suddenly that's in the past and unimportant. You've been rude to me since the first moment we started talking. And you still act surprised when I say something back. Like all the rest, I'm expected to be a saint while everyone else gets to do whatever they want. The usual double standard. When Ajashara and I had a problem, you rushed to tell me I was wrong without even finding out more information first. You just assumed I was wrong and selfish. It never even occurred to you that I was genuinely trying to help her. You just assumed I was being mean. What a wonderful opinion you have of me.
[9/23/2015 10:46:20 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: But I'm sure I'll be made out to be the bad guy here, too. Because after all, I do always play the victim, don't I?
[9/23/2015 10:48:20 PM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I'll head to bed now so there can be private conversations about what a jerk I am. At least I have the decency to talk about people where they can see it.
[9/23/2015 10:49:20 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: nothing I say here is gonna help anyway
[9/23/2015 10:51:12 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I haven't been quick to point out anything you've done to others.  I don't even really know, believe it or not people aren't talking about it.  I've been trying to avoid that subject on all sides
[9/23/2015 10:51:31 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: The hell is the matter with you grandsire your better than this. (angry)
[9/23/2015 10:53:18 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: he's upset... I shouldn't have said a word about anything earlier.  I thought I could stop being afraid of talking to him about things I thought went wrong when something like this happened, but I was a fool
[9/23/2015 10:53:47 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Your no fool dam
[9/23/2015 10:54:04 PM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: Not your fault dam.
[9/23/2015 10:54:43 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: he told me I shouldn't be afraid to tell him when I thought he was doing something wrong or not good, but the moment I do, every fear I had is revalidated
[9/23/2015 10:55:20 PM | Removed 10:55:56 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: This message has been removed.
[9/23/2015 10:56:24 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: My daughter doesn't understand why this has happened?
[9/23/2015 10:56:54 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: and i'm not gonna try to explain, all I have is to be afraid to be frank with my sire again.
[9/23/2015 10:57:13 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: trying to explain won't solve anything, it won't even help./
[9/23/2015 10:58:00 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: My daughter said" Great grand dam is there anything i can do to help"
[9/23/2015 10:58:21 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: her great grand dam is asleep
[9/23/2015 10:59:29 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: i think she was refering to you
[9/23/2015 10:59:37 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i'm tired in my soul right now, just looking for a place to rest my head and I still have this homework to do
[9/23/2015 11:00:24 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: look to our sire he is there for you dam
[9/23/2015 11:01:36 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: Erria'Nesti wants to lay with you and sire tonight when you go to bed
[9/23/2015 11:02:16 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: She also want to help you in anyway she can
[9/23/2015 11:04:37 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: if I am still able to move after this homework.. i'll try to talk about could possibly repair me separate from all this
[9/23/2015 11:05:18 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: I always be here for you dam
[9/23/2015 11:05:55 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i'm so burnt mentally and emotionally right now I don't think i'll be able to finish my homework
[9/23/2015 11:06:33 PM] *** Ko'onthra Trypnotk goesp and nuzzles dam ***
[9/23/2015 11:06:53 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i'm thinking of just walking away from all of this, and erasing the fact i'm a unicorn from the net
[9/23/2015 11:07:13 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I can't do this every few weeks I just cant
[9/23/2015 11:08:03 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: PLease we cant loose you too.
[9/23/2015 11:08:31 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i don't know i'm sickof crying
[9/23/2015 11:09:07 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: We are all sick of crying
[9/23/2015 11:09:35 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: If you leave it will destroy me and qu
[9/23/2015 11:11:12 PM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i won't.. i won't.. i'm just.. getting desparate
[9/23/2015 11:17:29 PM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: i understand
[8:12:32 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I'm back. Shall we continue with Hokolntha is always in the wrong and we're always right?
[8:17:42 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Not that it matters, because in your minds, if I say anything that isn't playful, I'm immediately wrong.
[8:29:09 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: "all I have is to be afraid to be frank with my sire again."
[8:30:12 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Oh what you think you're the only one? Every time I try to say anything serious to you, you're in my face telling me why I'm wrong. You think you're the only one who's afraid to be frank. Oh but wait, I'm not allowed to be frank. I'm supposed to just sit there and take it and play in the flowers no matter what anyone says.
[9:34:23 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I'm at work, in fact I am late for it.  I don't really know what else to say.
[9:36:07 AM | Edited 9:40:56 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Doesn't matter. Nothing will ever change. In the eyes of the alleged unicorn community, I will always be wrong. No words will ever change that. I suppose it makes them all feel superior. They can pat themselves on the back and say they are unicorns. So be it.
[9:42:26 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I already know where this is going. I speak my mind and every goes silent. Then after enough days of silence, I leave. It's the same pattern all over again. When I am happy and playful, everyone talks to me. When I am unhappy or angry, everyone scatters. Fair weather friends.
[9:44:01 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: But GM won't let me leave, so I won't, even though in the end you'll all stop talking to me and Skype will fall silent on my end. -shrugs- I'm never going to belong to the group. It's just not going to happen. 
[9:44:46 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: But you have Fadeyr, so you really don't need me around anymore, do you?
[9:45:23 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Don't worry, I'll stop talking eventually after you all are silent long enough. 
[9:46:45 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So glad I spent $2000 to come see all of you, and that's probably not going to happen and I'll just have to eat the money. Oh but wait, that's my fault too because no one forced me to do it.
[9:51:12 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: you are seeing this pattern all wrong, really.
[9:51:46 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Ah so even that is wrong.
[9:52:14 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: See?  We can't really talk about this.  I'm just going to be continued to be lashed out at.  So why even speak?
[9:52:29 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So tell me this
[9:52:44 AM | Edited 9:52:58 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: If any one of you does something that hurts me, how do you want me to react?
[9:54:02 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: All this started with me telling you that you proposed marriage too quickly, no matter what the reasons are.   You explained yourself, that's fine, no one was upset...
[9:54:12 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: If any one of you does something that hurts me, how do you want me to react?
[9:57:49 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: Just tell me that that hurt, and that will help, but at the same time theres a bigger issue about how your reacted to the whole thing.
[9:58:01 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: you started to attack me over what other unicorns have done to you
[9:58:15 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And if I hurt one of you, how are you supposed to react?
[9:58:39 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: have we attacked you over.. almost all of yesterday?
[9:58:42 AM] Ajashara Nei'enthies: we take it calmly and deal with it
[9:58:52 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Ah but you don't.
[9:59:08 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: When I do something to hurt one of you, you are all over me telling me that I am wrong.
[9:59:16 AM] Ajashara Nei'enthies: i tend to go away for a while and deal with it that way
[9:59:28 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: But when you do something to hurt me...oh guess what? You are still all over me telling me that I am wrong.
[9:59:35 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: when we try to talk to you about it you just to continue to blame and escalate it..
[9:59:39 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Either way, I am the one who is always wrong.
[10:00:15 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I know this isn't going to change anything, because as far as you guys are concerned I will always be wrong.
[10:00:23 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: ok, regarding the marriage proposal thing, what part do you want me to blame on dam?
[10:00:27 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I figure I have nothing to lose at this point, since I'm wrong either way.
[10:00:35 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So I might as well be the jerk you all expect me to be.
[10:00:58 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: There's no saving this. I'm already the outcast and it won't change, so why hold back anymore.
[10:01:05 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Worst you can do is kick me out.
[10:01:18 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Which might be a good thing in the end.
[10:01:53 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: you could change.
[10:02:02 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: theres always a solution
[10:02:04 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So could you
[10:03:59 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I couldn't make what happened between you and Aja right, and you are attacking me for telling you that wasn't a good course of action.  I wasn't even nasty about it.  I didn't even say it was over between you and dam.  I thought you were being hasty about thinking that happened.
[10:04:20 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And did you tell her that what she had done was wrong?
[10:04:37 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Did you stay neutral, or only tell me that I was wrong?
[10:06:17 AM] Ajashara Nei'enthies: what did i do wrong by saying no?
[10:07:51 AM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: gm said if you went the slow road you would have reaped the rewards. Is there way to resolve this peacefully
[10:08:50 AM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: (angry)
[10:10:14 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Aja I already explained it to you last night, and yet you still don't understand. I don't know how much clearer I can make it.
[10:10:52 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: The point of my question was this, and I'll keep saying it ad nauseum until you either get it or stop talking to me:
[10:11:18 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Whenever there is a disagreement between me and someone else, I am criticized. The other person is not.
[10:11:27 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I am always wrong. The other person is not.
[10:12:05 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Since supposedly no one person is ever blameless, don't you think it odd that I am always blamed and no one else is?
[10:12:11 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I can't make it any clearer than that.
[10:13:03 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I know this is just going around in circles. Because you people will never understand what I am trying to say no matter how I say it. But I'm bored at work and have nothing else to lose, so if you want to go around in circles, let's go around in circles.
[10:14:44 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: It's kind of hard to make you understand when you give me the silent treatment, Aja.
[10:16:08 AM] Ajashara Nei'enthies: i am aware. i am thinking at the moment, about everything.
[10:16:43 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: What chance do we have if you give me the silent treatment every time we have a misunderstanding?
[10:17:30 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: the reason people give you the silent treatment is because when they try to confront you on something, you attack...
[10:17:42 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Yeah I know always wrong blah blah blah
[10:18:39 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: see there it is.  Instead of accepting you were wrong, you just shoot back about everyone thinks everything is always your fault.  Noone thinks that, but that's what you're defending with.   The entire premise of that is wrong though!
[10:19:03 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Maybe I wasn't wrong. Ooo did that ever occur to you?
[10:19:11 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: By the way, you still didn't answer my question
[10:19:14 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: As usual
[10:24:16 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I am not giving you the silent treatment, anyway, i'm here trying to talk to you about it.
[10:26:01 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: you told me not to be afraid to speak up if I thought you did something wrong.  I did yesterday.  This is the result.  After this, what chance do you think there is that I will ever speak up about anything ever again?
[10:27:49 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I dunno. How about you answer my question first?
[10:28:23 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And if you expect me to smile and nod every time you criticize me, then you should get a robot unicorn and program it that way.
[10:28:36 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Still waiting for you to answer my question...
[10:28:50 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: which one?  Please reask
[10:29:13 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And did you tell her that what she had done was wrong? Did you stay neutral, or only tell me that I was wrong?
[10:29:27 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: what did she do that was wrong?
[10:29:35 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Bingo
[10:29:54 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: its not bingo until you can tell me what she did wrong
[10:29:58 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You criticized me without even having all the facts.
[10:29:59 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Awesome
[10:30:13 AM | Edited 10:30:18 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You just immediately assumed I was wrong without all the facts in your possession.
[10:30:34 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: you're not gonna tell me are you ..
[10:31:19 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: No because it was a private conversation between myself and your mother.
[10:32:09 AM | Edited 10:32:16 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: So if you want to make any progress, you tell me that you were wrong for assuming the worst of me without first knowing all the facts.
[10:35:10 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i'm sorry I didn't know all the facts i'll try to figure out what she did wrong
[10:36:39 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You don't need to. That's between her and me.
[10:36:46 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: That's a private conversation.
[10:37:00 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: yep i'm out of this whole thing
[10:37:36 AM | Removed 10:37:40 AM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: This message has been removed.
[10:37:48 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I'm not interested in you trying to find out what happened. I'm interested in you telling me I'm wrong without having all the facts. That you immediately assume the worst of me all the time. That you always think I'm wrong.
[10:37:53 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: This is what I have issues with.
[10:39:03 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: If Ajashara and I are going to reach an understanding and stay together as mates, that's for us to work out. No one else. And none of you have the right to attack me when you don't know the whole story.
[10:39:04 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I don't always think you wrong I have defended you to many others
[10:39:23 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I wouldn't know. All I ever see you do is criticize me all the time.
[10:39:29 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: I didn't attack you.  All I said is that 2 days was too soon.
[10:39:42 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: you explained why, to me it was over at that point
[10:39:59 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You say I attack, I say you attack. Neither of us attacked, but you like to say I do.
[10:40:22 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I blew up at you because ALL YOU EVER DO IS CRITICIZE ME ALL THE TIME.
[10:40:31 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And I'm sick of it.
[10:40:37 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: no I don't
[10:40:40 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: With you it seems I can never do anything right.
[10:41:16 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: No you don't? Well guess what, I don't attack you all the time either. In fact, I don't attack you at all. I tell you when I think you're wrong, but you see it as an attack.
[10:41:31 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You don't take criticism any better than I do.
[10:41:50 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: We both react exactly the same way, yet in your eyes I am always wrong.
[10:41:53 AM] Ko'onthra Trypnotk: She didn't attack you she suggested that you tyake things slower.
[10:42:11 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You stay out of this part, Ko'onthra. You also do not have all the facts.
[10:43:44 AM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: Grrrrrr
[10:44:00 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Yeah yeah growl all you want. Unicorns don't growl, by the way.
[10:44:17 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: And for the record, I have no issues whatsoever with Qu'soolin or Ko'onthra.
[10:44:33 AM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: What the hell is wrong with you.
[10:44:33 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I am happy with them, except when they also criticize without all the facts.
[10:44:47 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Oh and the fact that no matter what I say, Qu'soolin still doesn't get it.
[10:45:05 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Let's try this again
[10:45:09 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Ad nauseum
[10:45:32 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I am sick and tired of you people criticizing me and assuming the worst without knowing all the facts.
[10:45:45 AM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: I get it all dam said was take it slow.
[10:45:53 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: You just automatically assume I am wrong every time without knowing all the facts.
[10:47:08 AM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: Its not that you are wrong it you being self centered thinking only about you.
[10:47:22 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: How would you know? Did you see both sides of the conversation?
[10:47:31 AM] Ajashara Nei'enthies: do not go after them. as o'onthrera has said they like to know the full story. you always over react when things go wrong.
[10:47:53 AM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: True
[10:47:55 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Ah but they tell me I'm wrong without knowing the full story.
[10:48:20 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: its over, just let it go, I was wrong.
[10:49:00 AM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: No dam you are not wrong you did nothing wrong.
[10:49:01 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: No it's not over because you will all keep right on doing this the next time something happens. You always assume the worst of me without knowing the full story.
[10:49:09 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: "No dam you are not wrong you did nothing wrong."
[10:49:16 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Sweet. Thank you for making my point.
[10:50:00 AM | Edited 10:50:28 AM] Qu'soolin Trypnotk: What point  you being a pompous
[10:51:20 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: No I did, I shouldn't haven't said anything.
[10:51:27 AM] Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk: i'm wrong and i'm always going to be.
[10:51:36 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Okay I'm done. I just discovered that Ajashara talked about our private conversation with one of you in a separate private conversation. Thanks, Aja. Good to know I can trust that our private talks will remain so.
[10:52:01 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: I have nothing left to say. Good luck to you all. I won't leave because I promised, but there's no point in talking to any of you anymore.
[10:52:29 AM] Hokolntha Te'hana: Bye
[11:00:26 AM] *** Alynna O'onthrera Trypnotk has left ***